Thursday, May 13, 2010

Sir Bill's Miracle Equation

In a stroke of propaganda czar genius, Sir Bill Gates has been reassigned to the climate change industry. Sir Bill and his staff of science servants do not disappoint. CNN reports Sir Bill's conclusions:

The world must eliminate all of its carbon emissions and cut energy costs in half in order to prevent a climate catastrophe, which will hit the world's poor hardest, he said.

"We have to drive full speed and get a miracle in a pretty tight timeline," he said.

The Timeline:

Gates said the deadline for the world to cut all of its carbon emissions is 2050.

He suggested that researchers spend the next 20 years inventing and perfecting clean-energy technologies, and then . . .

[T]he next 20 years implementing them.

Turning focus to one of his favorite things - portfolios - the sir determined:


The world's energy portfolio should not include coal or natural gas, he said, and must include carbon capture and storage technology as well as nuclear, wind and both solar photovoltaics and solar thermal power.
. . .
Gates called for more investment in climate-related technology. He said he is backing a company called TerraPower, which is working on an alternate form of nuclear technology that uses spent fuel.

CNN's report left out the sir's climate change equation and explanation. Tonic provides the details:

Total CO2= World population x Services x Energy of each service x CO2 per unit of energy

Since the first two factors certainly won't be cut to zero and the third could use a reduction but can't defy the laws of physics by dropping to nothing, we're left with zeroing out the fourth, the amount of carbon emissions per unit of energy.

Yessireebill, we the unemployed or recently graduated will step right up for the opportunity of wage-earning in a brand new industry whose portfolio will burst with obscene profits for you, yours and the rest of the gods. This equation reads:

We build it = Portfolio gods own it.